It's just a movie!
by loveydovey14
Summary: Movie night for the kittens and they have to see some heartbreaking scenes. Not one of my better humor stories.
1. Bambi and The Lion King

**We've all seen these movies, or at least most of us have, and I'm sure we all bawled our eyes out, had our parents explain to us that it's not real, and then had lots of expensive therapy treatments to get over it. So get a tissue box and huggle your favorite stuffed animal, because the kittens are going to watch some heartbreaking movies!**

**Movies are property of Disney, Warner Brothers, and Universal Studios.**

**R&R. _No_ catty or rude reviews!**

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"Movie night! Movie night!" Etcetera sang happily as she and the other kittens, Jemima, Plato, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Victoria, and Electra walked beside her down the sidewalk.

"Where does Munkustrap live again?" Victoria asked.

"It should be right around the corner Vicky". Plato said. Soon enough, they found the house of the Jellicle protector. His human owner was out for the night on a date. The kittens walked up to the door and knocked. Munkustrap poked his head out of the kitty door.

"Hello kits. Ready for tonight's movie?" he said.

"Yeah!" They all chimed. Munkustrap helped them throught the cat door and led the kittens into the living room. A nice plasma TV sat along the wall. The kittens climbed onto a comfy couch. Munkustrap went into the kitchen and brought back small pouches of kitty treats and handed one to each of the kittens.

"We'll be watching the movie _Bambi._"

"Munkustrap?" said Jemima. "I thought your human was a bachelor. Why does he own kid movies?"

"He has a five-year-old niece. Has to keep her entertained when she visits". Munkustrap replied as he popped the DVD in. He jumped onto the top of the couch above the kittens as he watched them eagerly gobble down their treats. "Don't eat them all so fast now. You'll get tummy aches".

****One hour into the movie****

"I like this movie!" Electra said.

"Me too!" Tumblebrutus agreed.

"That bunny is so adorable!" Victoria said to Etcetera.

"Bambi's mom has a hot voice." Pouncival whipered to Plato. Unfortunatley, Munkustrap heard him and said "_Ahem._" sternly. Pouncival ducked his head and flattened his ears. Munkustrap laid his head down and fell asleep.

_"Bambi, come here!" _Bambi's mom said on the screen. _"Look. New spring grass."_ Bambi and his mother quietly chewed. The kittens smiled. Suddenly, the music got tenser, and then, _"Bambi. Quick. The thicket!" _Bambi and his mother ran. The kitten's faces quickly lost their smiles. Gunshots rang out.

_"Faster! Faster Bambi! Don't look back! Keep running! Keep running!" _The kits leaned forward. _Blam!_ The final gunshot sounded, and Bambi ran back to the den.

_"We made it! We made it mother! We...mother? Mother?" _

The kits lips and began to tremble and quiver, and their eyes bagan to swell with tears.

"B-Bambi's mom..." Pouncival stammered.

"Bambi's mom...is..." Plato said. The kittens looked at one another.

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" They all sobbed. The sudden noise scared Munkustrap awake.

"Yah!" He toppled over the head of the couch and fell behind the kittens, who were seated closer to the edge.

"What? What wrong?" He asked in a worried tone. Plato turned towards his face with tears on his cheeks.

"Bambi's mom! *sob* She's...WAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Munkustrap looked at the TV screen and saw Bambi calling for his mother. He knew instantly what happened.

"Shh, shh, calm down now, kits." He said trying to soothe the sobbing kittens. "It's just a movie. She's not really-"

"-Dead?" Etcetera interrupted. "She's...WAAAAHHHH-HA-HA-HA!"

Munkustrap wished Jenny or Jelly were here. They were better at handling the kits than he was. "Shhhh, it's alright, it's okay". The girls huddled around Munkustrap and hugged his waist. Munkustrap wrapped his arms around them and continued to shush them. Pouncival, Plato, and Tumblebrutus clinged onto his arms. "Alright everyone look, it's just a movie, no one was killed, she's okay. Now let's just watched the rest of the movie, shall we?"

The kits all looked up at his face and nodded in unison. He set them all down and sat in the middle, so if there were any more sad scenes they could cuddle against him.

****The next week****

It was the next movie night, and the kits were going to Tugger's house this time, which had the queen-kits really hyped up.

"We're going to Tuggy's house!" Etcetera cheered. She, Electra, Victoria, and Jemima were skipping down the sidewalk, while the tom-kits lagged behind them, less enthusiastic about where they were going. They arrived at Tugger's house and knocked on the door. Tugger jumped out of hiss kitty door.

"Hiya, kits" he said seductively, causing the queens to giggle and the toms to roll their eyes in annoyance. "Come on in". The kittens jumped through the cat flap.

"What are we watching Tugger?" Tumblebrutus asked.

"Something called _The Lion King._" Tugger answered. "Get comfortable".

The kittens plopped on his couch. Tugger sat in the middle of the queens who all huddled close to him. Tugger turned on the TV, and suddenly,

_"NAAAAAANTS INGONYAMAAAAA, BAGITHI BABA!"_

The horribly loud singing made Tugger and the kits jumped five feet in the air. Tugger launched for the remote. "TURN IT DOWN! TURN IT DOWN!" Jemima cried. Tugger frantically clicked the volume down button until there was no sound. They all stood there, their fur on end, and their teeth clenched.

"Owww" Victoria moaned, rubbing her ears.

"Okay, let's try this again." Tugger clicked it up to a moderate volume.

****Half an hour later****

They were at the infamous stampede scene. Tugger had fallen asleep from boredom, because, hey, a grown tom wouldn't show much interest in a kid's film right? Mufasa clinged onto the ledge for dear life. Above him, Scar looked down with a malicious grin.

The kits were on the edge of their seats, just waiting for what was going to happen next.

_"Long live the king." _Scar said, his voice dripping with evil. _A/N: I really like how he says that in the movie. That sounds like something you would play over and over in your nightmares! _Scar dropped Mufasa from the cliff.

_"AAAAHHH!"_

_"NOOOOO!"_

As the dust settled, Simba found Mufasa's lifeless body on the ground. _"Dad? Dad? Get up. We gotta go home!"_

The kits eyes welled up with tears.

"Mufasa..." Electra whispered.

Pouncival turned to Tumblebrutus. "He's..."

"WAAAAAHHHHH-HA-HAAA!" they all cried. Tugger jolted awake, claws sheathed and mane frazzled.

"Wha-what? What's wrong?" The girls clamped onto Tugger as if to let go would mean instant death.

"M-Mufasa...he-he's de-WAAAAAHHHH!" Jemima cried into his arm. Plato and Tumblebrutus hugged each other and sobbed on each other's shoulders, and Pouncival wiped his eyes with Tumble's tail. Then he blew his nose with it. Tumble looked disgusted and took his tail away from him and continued crying.

"Calm down, ladies. It's not real". Tugger reassured. "Though they may have had to chuck a few lions off a cliff to see what a lion falling off a cliff would look like".

"So some lions WERE killed!" Etcetera cried. _Aw crap, why did I just say that? _Tugger thought to himself. He looked down at the girls.

"I hate to see a group of lovely queens cry." The girls looked up at him and blushed.

"Hey," said Plato. "We're over here!"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I hate to see you guys cry too, I suppose". Tugger rubbed the queen-kit's backs as they huddled closer to him, sniffling.

"Now let's watch the rest of the film".

****Later at the junkyard****

Jenny and Jelly had finally got the kittens to sleep. Munkustrap and Mistoffelees walked up to Tugger. "So, how was your movie night?"

"Terrific. They laughed, then cryed a lot, then fell asleep before the movie was over". Tugger responded.

"You got to see the waterworks too?"

"Oh, yeah".

"How'd ya calm the girls down? Thrust your hips at them?" Misto teased.

"I'd like to see you handle that situation!" Tugger retorted.

"I think I will. Movie night is at my place next week, and I have the perfect film. I haven't seen it since I was a kitten, but I remember it has NO death scenes, so therefore, no crying kits".

In a puff of smoke, a DVD popped up in Misto's paw. It was promptly titled _"Dumbo"._


	2. Dumbo and Babe

**Hello! Thanks for being patient! It's kinda hard to think of different ways to calm down the kittens.**

****The following week****

The kittens sat on the couch in Mistoffelees' home. Pouncival and Etcetera were wrestling, and Victoria was playing with a small cat toy. Misto had gone into the other room to make popcorn and the find the DVD. He returned with a bowl of steaming popcorn and the DVD of _Dumbo_.

"This is one of my favorite kittenhood movies". he said as he handed the popcorn bowl to the kits.

"What's it about?" Electra asked.

"It's a story about a baby elephant with big ears who learns to fly".

"Is this one of those stories that have morals to them?" Pouncival questioned.

Misto rolled his eyes. "If I say no, will you quietly sit through the movie?"

"Yes."

"Then no. Here we go".

The kittens eagerly munched on their popcorn.

"Pouncival, don't take so much." Misto scolded. Pouncival pouted.

****One hour later** **

"Poor Dumbo!" Etcetera said.

"Why can't they just accept him for who he is?" Plato whined.

"I like the mouse" Jemima said to Victoria.

"That's great you guys, now shh! I haven't seen this in a long time and I forget how it goes." Misto said.

_"Mrs. Jumbo? Mrs. Jumbo! There's someone here to see you!" _Timothy the mouse called. Mrs. Jumbo looked up from the ground where she had been weeping. Dumbo stuck his small trunk through the bars. Mrs. Jumbo stuck her trunk out and began to wipe away Dumbo's tears. A chorus sang in the background:

_"Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes..."_

Misto looked at the kits. He could see the sparkles in their eyes that showed there were already tears forming. "Uh-oh".

"WAAAAAHHHHH!" the kits cried in unison. Misto huffed. "Why are you guys crying? She doesn't die in this movie".

"Wh-why can't they be together?" Victoria sobbed.

"How could they do that to her? And her son!" Tumblebrutus wailed. He took Plato's paw and wiped his eyes. Plato was crying too much to notice. As they continued to cry, Misto sighed and conjured up a box of tissues.

"Okay, shh, shh, don't cry. It's okay!" He handed a tissue to each kit. They all blew their noses and wiped their eyes. Victoria grabbed Misto's waist. Misto gently rubbed her back, soothing her. He looked over at the tom kits. "Come on you three! Toms don't cry!" he said using a tough tone of voice on the last sentence.

Plato, Tumblebrutus, and Pouncival looked at each other. "Good thing we're not toms yet!" Pouncival wailed. They continued crying. Misto sighed again.

"That's the saddest lullaby I've ever heard!" Jemima said. All the kittens tackled Misto and hugged his waist. _Oh bast, think quick, Misto _Misto thought to himself. Suddenly, idea! Misto raised his paws, then sparkly dust fell from them and onto the kittens. They stopped crying and all yawned. Then they all fell backwards and asleep. Misto let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll just say you fell asleep before the movie was over". Misto continued to watch the rest of the movie as the kittens quietly snoozed.

****At the junkyard****

"So," Rum Tum Tugger walked up to Misto. "How was your movie night with your 'perfect' movie?"

"Believe it or not, they cried" Mistoffelees said. "It was just over a sad sounding lullaby".

"Kittens. They get so worked up these days" Tugger put his thumbs in his silver belt. "So who's got them next week?"

"I think Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer do". Tugger and Misto looked over to where the notorious duo were. They were sorting through the loot the recently stole. Mungo put on a hat and Teazer put a small saphire ring on her finger.

"You think we should warn them they're in for tears?" Mistoffelees asked. Tugger and Misto thought for a moment. Then they both came up with the same answer.

"Nah!"

****Next week, at Victoria Grove****

"Wow, the houses here are really big" Victoria marvelled at the three story houses.

"There's Jerrie and Teazer's house!" Plato said, pointing to a house with a small fountain out front. The kittens walked up to the door and knocked. Nothing. They exchanged glances, then knocked again. Still nothing. Suddenly, a rustle came from a bush.

"W-what was that?" Etcetera cowered behind Tumblebrutus.

"It was probably just a rabbit." he answered. Then another rustle came from the bush behind them. The kittens turned around and started to shake with fear. Then Plato felt something breating on the back of his neck.

"G-g-guys? What's behind me?"

Before anyone could answer, whatever was behind Plato went "BOO!" The kittens jumped and screamed with terror.

"AAAIIIIEEEE!" They're screaming ceased when they saw Mungojerrie keeling over with laughter.

"Mungojerrie?" Pouncival half-shouted.

"And Rumpleteazer!" Rumpleteazer said from behind.

Jemima spun around. "What was that for?"

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer looked at each other. "We just loike t'mess wi' you guys!" Jerrie answered. "C'mon in then!" The cats jumped through the kitty door and walked into a beautiful living room.

"Wow. That plasma is bigger than Munkustrap's" Pouncival gazed upon the huge TV in front of him. The kittens hopped up on a leather couch.

"Litter box is down th' hall. Let us know if y'get 'ungry, we'll make snacks!" Rumpleteazer said cheerfully with a cheeky grin.

"I'm hungry!" Pouncival waved his paw in the air.

"You're ALWAYS hungry." Plato remarked, emphasizing the word "always".

"Yeah, you're gonna end up like Bustopher if you're not careful!" Etcetera teased.

Pouncival tapped his chin. "Well fed and respected by all? I'm cool with that!" He laid back against the couch, put his arms behind his head, and crossed his legs. The kittens rolled their eyes.

"So, what are we watching anyways?" Victoria asked. Mungojerrie popped a DVD in.

"You guys like pigs?"

"No" all the kits said in unison.

" 'Course ya do. We're watching _Babe_". He clicked play on the remote, and the Universal Studios logo popped up on the screen.

****Into the movie****

Mungojerrie fell asleep on an armchair next to the couch, and Rumpleteazer sat next to him, filing her nails with a human nail file. Jerrie's head was right by her tail, and he drooled on it. Teazer looked disgusted, and pulled her tail away.

Babe ran valiantly into the sheep pasture and bravely threw himself at the wolves attacking Maa the elderly ewe. The kittens bit their lips, scared of what was to become of the elderly sheep. Babe ran over to Maa who was bleeding from her throat. A tear rolled down out his eye.

_"Maa? Maa-aa-aa-aa!" _Babe started to bleet and wail, as well as the other sheep.

Electra turned to Tumblebrutus. "Th-this...this is a real-life movie". Her eyes began to water.

Tumblebrutus' lip started to quiver and shake. "Then...that means...*sniff* she's really..."

"WAAAAHHHHHH!" They all started to cry, right on cue.

"GYAH!" Mungojerrie jolted awake. Rumpleteazer dropped her file in surprise. "Whot's wrong kits?" Rumpleteazer hopped onto the couch.

Jemima spoke up. "M-Maa...is dead! And...and there's BLOOD! And this is...*sob*a live action film! So...that means...she really *sniffle* is DEAD!" Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie gathered the crying kittens in their arms. The kittens nuzzled their tear stained faces into their fur.

"Shh, c'mon. She can't really be..." she looked up at the screen. "Ooohh, that does look pretty real. Oh, wait! Didn't they use animatronic animals in this movie at some points Jerrie?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"See? See? That's a fake sheep! Nuttin' to be fussin' about".

The kittens looked up at Jerrie and Teazer, then at the TV screen, then at each other. "But it's still so SAAAAD!" Plato wailed. They all started to cry all over again. Rumpleteazer looked at her mate. "Do something!"

Mungojerrie rubbed his chin in thought. "I know! Who wants COOKIES?" He pulled a plate of cookies out from behind him.

"MEEEE!" The kittens all cried at once, forgetting about why they were crying, and tackled Jerrie to get to the cookies.

"Jerrie! That'll keep 'em awake fo' hours!" Teazer cried, but alas, she was too late. They had already gobbled down their cookies. Now they were twitching their whiskers and jittering all over the place. Rumpleteazer facepawed herself.

"COOKIES!" Plato cheered. Pouncival and Etcetera jumped straight up and grabbed onto the ceiling fan and started to spin around. Tumblebrutus was tumbling everywhere at the speed of light, bumping into tables and knocking things over. Victoria tapped Jemima on her shoulder, and...threw a pie in her face?

"Where'd she get the pie?" Mungojerrie asked.

"Oi think that was the pie sittin' in the kitchen". Teazer answered. They looked at Jemima who was now wrestling Victoria on the ground, getting pie evrywhere. "They're really destroying the 'ouse". Teazer said. "WE'LL 'ELP 'EM!" So Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer joined in the chaos.

****Back at the junkyard****

"You gave them COOKIES?" Jellylorum roared. She held a very squirmy Pouncival and a shaky Electra in her arms.

"Hey, it got 'em t'calm down." Mungojerrie shrugged like it was nothing. Etcetera zoomed into the room, and Jellylorum caught her by her tail, with her still trying to run.

"We'll NEVER be able to make them sleep now!" Skimbleshanks ran in, in hot pursuit of Victoria, who at the moment, was shouting random, crazy things.

"Cookies! Cookies! I love cookies! I wanna be a ballerina when I'm older! My name backwards is Airotciv! It sounds like 'erotic'! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!"

Skimble finally caught up to her and grabbed her and dragged her into the next room.

"I'm telling Munkustrap to never let you two host movie night again! My night has been rough enough as it is!" Jellylorum stomped into the kitten's bedroom. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer rolled their eyes and walked out.

"We didn't 'ave a pleasant nigh' eitha' ya crazy _bitch_." Jerrie huffed under his breath, emphasizing the "b" word.

"Don't tell me:" Munkustrap called to them. "They were quite infatuated witht the movie at first, then you got to a sad scene, and then waterfalls came out of their eyes".

"Yes!" They both answered at once. Munk, Misto, and Tugger sat next to them.

"So, who's house is movie night at next, Munkus?" Tugger said.

"Coricopat and Tantomile's house. Do you think we should give them a heads up?" They all looked over their shoulders and saw the mystical twins walking in sync with each other, with emotionless expressions.

"Naw, they is psychic." Rumpleteazer flapped her paw. "They'll prob'ly see it comin'!"


	3. The Neverending StoryThe end!

**Okay, here it is! This should be the final chapter. I am so, so, so, so, SO sorry for the wait, some of you may have heard that my computer got a virus. Gah! But I'm back! And still getting used to Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer.  
**

**Enjoy!**

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"Cori, do you have the snacks ready?" Tantomile said to her twin brother. "The kittens will be here any minute". Coricopat took a bag of popcorn out of the microwave and opened a pouch of gummy bears. Then he looked at the door.

"More like any second, Tanto". Coricopat said with hardly no emotion. Sure enough, there came a knock at the door. Tantomile hopped off the counter and opened the door.

"Hi Tantomile!" the kittens happily shouted.

"Hello kits, c'mon in". Tantomile led them into the cozy living room and onto the couch. She popped in an old video tape labeled "The Neverending Story". Coricopat handed the popcorn and gummy bears to the kittens. Pouncival dug into the gummy bears.

"Not so many, Pouncival". Tantomile said calmly. Pouncival frowned. He didn't even like the red ones.

"Tantomile, what are we watching?" Etcetera asked, her voice slightly muffled by popcorn.

"We're watching a movie about a boy who travels into a book".

"Aw, come on!" Plato whined. "A movie about books? I bet It's got a boring moral at the end!"

Coricopat frowned. "Well, we don't care. So just shut up and enjoy". Plato crossed his arms.

****later****

Cori and Tanto sat on a chair opposite of the couch the kittens were on and watched as Atreyu and Artax the horse trudged through the swamp of sadness. Artax stopped all of a sudden. Atreyu pulled at his reins, but he horse didn't budge.

_"Come on Artax. What's the matter? What's wrong?"_

Then Atreyu looked down. Artax's lower body was slowly being consumed by the mud and water.

_"Artax! You're sinking! Come on! Turn around! You have to!" _Atreyu cried. He frantically pulled on the reins, but Artax kept sinking. He leaned down to the horse's face. _"Artax, you're letting the sadness of the swamps get to you. You have to try! You have to care. For me!"_ By now, only Artax's head was above the mud.

_"ARTAX! NO!"_ The screen went black.

Coricopat's ears perked, as well as Tantomile's.

"I sense something wrong". Tantomile whispered. "Coming from the little ones". They looked over at the kittens, and saw their eyes glistening with tears. Jemima let out a small squeak, and then all the kits started to cry.

"WAAAAHHHHH-HA-HA!" Tanto and Cori jumped onto the couch and gathered the kits in their arms.

"A-Ar-Artax!" Tumblebrutus wailed as he buried his face into Cori's shoulder.

"Artax was his friend! Why'd he have to drown? WAAAAHHHH!" Victoria sobbed. Electra and Etcetera clutched Tantomile's waist as she rubbed their backs and shushed them.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, don't cry!" The kits continued to cry. "C'mon, it's just a movie". She turned to Coricopat. "What do we do?"

Cori told her something telepathically. Tantomile nodded in agreement. They pushed the kittens off their chests and had them face them. The mystic twins narrowed their eyes slightly, and concentrated hard. The kits stopped crying, and got a dazed look in their eyes, as if they had been on drugs. Eight seconds went by. Then they all shook their heads.

Pounce put a paw on his head. "Wha-what just happened?"

The twins smiled at what they had just done: They wiped the last five minutes of the kittens' memories clean.

"I don't remember what just happened in the movie. Can we rewind it?" Electra asked.

"NO! Ah, no" Cori and Tanto said together. Cori picked up the remote. "You guys didn't miss much. Let's just watch the rest of it".

****At the junkyard****

"The cried over a horse?" Misto said. Cori and Tanto nodded their heads in unison.

"Everlasting cat, whatever film we show them, they cry!" Munkustrap waved his arms above his head.

"I think we need to all watch a film with them and just see how sad these movies are" Tugger suggested.

"That's a good idea, Tug. But what movie to watch? Misto, close your eyes and conjure up the most random movie you can think of" Munkustrap said to the magician. Mistoffelees closed his eyes, then his paws glittered, and in a puff smoke, a movie appeared in his paws.

"_Gone with the Wind_? That's the random movie you could think of?" Tugger commented, pointing at the DVD.

"It is really random. Alright, so everyone is to meet at...who's house is it at this time Munk?" Misto asked.

"Exotica's".

"...Exotica's house, and we'll see if the kits cry at this".

****At Exotica's place****

Munkustrap, Demeter, Bombalurina, Tugger, Mistoffelees, Jennyanydots, Skimbleshanks, Asparagus, Jellylorum, the kits, and every other cat in the tribe all sat in Exotica's living room. The kittens were on the couch. The grown-ups either sat on easy chairs, or the floor. Exotica, as well as the family she lived with, were African, so their was some african paintings and such in there. Exotica brought in 6 bowls of popcorn, and popped in the DVD.

"Skimble told me this is a love film" Victoria whispered to Jemima. "Maybe this will be good".

****Much later****

Scarlett rushed down the staircase. _"Rhett, if you go, where will I go? What will I do?"_

Rhett simply answered with the famous line, _"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" _and walked into the fog. Scarlett then recalled the voices of Rhett, Gerald and Ashley, and the film came to an end.

The kittens stared with confused expressions, while every adult cried**. **Jenny and Jelly wiped their eyes with hankies, Demeter and Munkustrap sobbed on each others fur**. **Even Tugger and Alonzo's tears were visible

"I don't get it. He broke up with her. Is that supposed to be SAD?" Pouncival questioned.

"So he dumped her, that's not sad! It happens all the time in real life!" Tumble complained.

"I just full out didn't get it". Electra said.

The kits all looked at the adult cats, every single one of them crying.

"Adults get so worked up over nothing". Jemima said.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Not my best ending, but I was shooting for irony, and that was the best I could get. And it was a bit shorter than I would have liked. Phew! I finally got this done! Now, I DEMAND you to review!  
**


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